Friend Like You
by powerstaark
Summary: Ahsoka visits Barriss in prison after Barriss betrays her.


Ahsoka walked towards the Republic prison. She didn't want to be there. Apart from the Jedi Temple, the prison was the last place she wanted to be right now. But she needed to talk to Barriss. She needed to understand.

"Halt," said a Clone standing guard, "Nobody is permitted to enter."

"I want to see... prisoner Offee," Ahsoka forced the last two words out. In her mind she was thinking, _my friend._ She brushed that off. Barriss wasn't her friend anymore.

"Sorry Commander..." said the Clone.

"It's just Ahsoka now, Trooper," Ahsoka said sadly.

"Well Ahsoka, I'm afraid I can't let you in," the Clone said. Ahsoka considered using a Mind Trick. She also considered just turning away and leaving but if she didn't do this now, she might never get a chance to talk to Barriss again.

That thought was nauseating.

"I'll escort her," said another clone. All Clones sounded alike but Ahsoka had become so familiar with this one, that she instinctively knew who he was before she saw him. It was Rex. Ahsoka briefly wondered why he was here. He was never involved in something as boring as guard duty. She dismissed the thought. She was just glad to see him.

The other Clone nodded and stepped aside. Ahsoka and Rex entered the prison together.

"Thank you," Ahsoka said quietly.

"It's the least I could do," Rex said, "You're here to see Commander Offee aren't you?"

"Yes," Ahsoka said, "You knew I'd come here didn't you?"

"I guessed," Rex replied. They walked in silence for a while. Finally Rex cleared his throat, "I knew you were innocent. I've watched you grow from a little kid into the most capable woman I've ever had the pleasure of serving with. I'm really sorry about everything. You deserve better." Ahsoka smiled. If only the Council could make an apology like that.

"Thank you, Rex," she said, "That means a lot."

They reached Barriss' cell. The Mirialan was meditating.

"I know I'm supposed to have an escort but..." Ahsoka began.

"I understand," Rex said, "I'll wait outside." He deactivated the ray shield. Ahsoka entered.

Barriss had sensed Ahsoka before she even stepped into the prison. She had started meditating immediately, trying to forget the shocked and betrayed look on Ahsoka's face when Barriss had been brought into court. It wasn't working. But even when Ahsoka stepped into the cell, Barriss kept her eyes closed. She tried to pretend Ahsoka wasn't there.

"Why, Barriss?"

Two words. That was all Ahsoka said. Barriss' eyes started to water. She kept them closed, forcing the tears back. She didn't want to cry in front of Ahsoka.

Ahsoka waited. She knew Barriss had heard her and she knew that she would reply.

Finally Barriss couldn't ignore Ahsoka any longer. She opened her eyes. Ahsoka stood in front of her. Her arms were crossed, like they often were when she was upset. Through the Force, and by looking into Ahsoka's eyes, Barriss sensed her anger, sorrow and betrayal. What surprised Barriss however was that there was no hatred. Ahsoka was angry, no, she was furious with her, and rightly so, but she didn't hate her.

"I had to do something," Barriss said and her voice came out a whisper, "The Republic is breaking apart. The Jedi Order is falling. I couldn't just stand by and watch. I had to get a message to them somehow."

"So you blew up the Temple hanger, murdered innocent people and betrayed your friend! Great way to send a message, Barriss!" Ahsoka snapped. Barriss flinched, "I thought we were friends! I looked up to you like a big sister! I trusted you with my life!"

_Ahsoka trusted you and you betrayed her! _Barriss heard Anakin's enraged voice. She couldn't look at Ahsoka anymore, couldn't bear to see the anger and disgust in her eyes. But she could still feel them in the Force.

"I didn't mean for you to get involved," Barriss said, her voice shaking, "I was planning to use Luminara but she went on a mission just before the bombing. Then you caught Letta and she nearly confessed. I didn't have time to think of anyone else! I panicked!"

"Why Luminara?" Ahsoka asked.

"Because she was willing to abandon us on Geonosis," Barriss said, "I could sense her just waiting for us to die whereas Master Skywalker made the effort to look for us. And she refused to listen whenever I tried to talk to her, to explain what the Jedi Order had become. She just kept spouting those stupid Jedi teachings whilst creating carnage on the front lines!"

"She usually just destroyed droids, didn't she?" Ahsoka questioned.

"Usually," Barriss agreed, "But she's led countless people to their deaths and I've watched her kill people personally. I've had to kill people myself and it was tearing me apart. I still remember the first person I killed." She chuckled humourlessly, "You were with me when it happened."

"Trap?" Ahsoka guessed. Barriss nodded.

"He was a clone but he haunted me in my sleep for weeks," she said bitterly, "Letta and those other people are going to do the same."

"Barriss, if you think they're going to haunt you in your sleep, why did you kill them in the first place?" Ahsoka asked.

"Because I was trying to make the Council realise what filthy hypocrites they are," Barriss replied, "They sacrifice people for what they claim is 'the greater good' when all they really want is to maintain their alliance with those animals in the Senate! You of all people must know that! I was just doing what they do on a daily basis! But at least I have enough decency to feel guilty about it!"

"You've turned to the Dark side," Ahsoka told her bluntly. Barriss stopped ranting for a moment.

"I don't believe in the Dark side or the Light side," she said, "The Force is neither good nor evil. It's just there. Only the people who use it are good or evil."

"What about you?" Ahsoka asked, "Do you believe you're good, evil or neither?" Barriss hesitated.

"I don't know," she said and suddenly she seemed much younger, like a child looking to her mother for guidance, "I didn't want to hurt anyone but... I felt so powerful. I'll never forgive myself but I was desperate. Ahsoka I... I don't know who I am anymore!"

Despite everything Barriss had put her through, Ahsoka felt sorry for her. She didn't see a terrorist, a murderer or even a traitor right now. She saw a young woman who was overwhelmed by all the horrible things she had seen, who was so desperate to bring some kind of sense back to a Galaxy full of chaos that she was willing to sacrifice her values in order to do it. The trouble was that Barriss' logic was twisted. Fighting violence with violence only created more violence. Something inside Barriss had snapped. Perhaps it was related to those brain worms they'd encountered when they left Geonosis. Maybe they had left a lasting impression on her. Whatever the reason, poor Barriss had a screw loose and it had driven her mad.

But madwoman or not, Ahsoka still cared about her. She sat beside her.

"Barriss I..." she paused and thought carefully about what she was going to say, "I'm angry with you. You betrayed my trust and our friendship and you let me down as badly as the Council did. But I don't hate you. I understand why you think the Jedi Order is corrupt. In fact, I agree with you, although I wouldn't put it in quite the same way you did at the trial. And despite everything, I still think of you as my friend. I still care about you."

Barriss stared at Ahsoka. She couldn't believe it. This was better than she could have hoped for. Ahsoka may not have forgiven her, but the fact that she cared for her even now touched Barriss deeply. She knew she didn't deserve Ahsoka's friendship. Ahsoka was the most loyal person Barriss had ever met. Barriss hated herself for what she had done to the younger girl, even more than she hated herself for committing murder and terrorism.

Barriss couldn't hold it back anymore. She started to cry. Her shoulders shook and she sobbed into her hands. Ahsoka hugged her, cradling her like a small child.

"I'm sorry," Barriss wailed, "I'm so sorry. I don't deserve to have a friend like you!"

Ahsoka stroked her back. She didn't know what to say. The woman who nearly got her executed was now in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably. And Ahsoka was actually trying to comfort her. She didn't want Barriss to be in pain, no matter how much pain Barriss herself had caused.

Finally Barriss' sobs ceased. She sniffed and looked up at Ahsoka.

"Why do you still care?" she asked.

"I'm not really sure," Ahsoka admitted. Barriss let go of her and sat back.

"What are you going to do now?" Barriss asked.

"Well I'm not going back to the Jedi Order," Ahsoka replied, "I doubt I'll ever trust the Council again. But I have no idea where I'm going to go next."

"You could become a Grey Jedi," Barriss suggested, "They're independent from the Order. In fact as far as I know, the Grey Jedi have been doing their best to stay out of the war."

"That's a possibility," Ahsoka mused, "That's what you should have done."

"Well it doesn't matter now," Barriss muttered, "It's too late for me. I'll probably be dead soon." The thought of Barriss dying made Ahsoka feel a horrible, empty sensation in her stomach.

"I don't want you to die, Barriss," she whispered.

"It's okay," Barriss said, "I deserve it."

"It's not okay," Ahsoka said, "There's been enough death in this war." Barriss smiled thinly.

"Well the war's not over," she said and stared into space, "Not yet. But something's going to happen soon. Something... evil."

"The Council haven't foreseen it," Ahsoka said.

"That's because they're blind idiots," Barriss said. Ahsoka found herself laughing and for a second she thought things were back to normal, that Barriss had never betrayed her, that they were both still fighting for all that was good in the Galaxy. The feeling ended when Barriss spoke again. "I'm scared, Ahsoka."

"So am I," Ahsoka replied. There was a short silence.

"You should go," Barriss said finally.

"Okay," Ahsoka agreed softly. She stood up and went to the ray shield. Rex was still outside. She signalled to him to let her out. He deactivated the ray shield. Ahsoka looked back at Barriss.

Both girls were crying.

"I forgive you, Barriss," Ahsoka whispered.

She walked out of the cell.


End file.
